Making the Tea

We have a nightmare of a temporary Surveyor working with us at the moment, who likes everything just so - you can't deviate from anything or he'll just flip, he can't cope with anything that comes up or requires urgent attention, with this in mind, my boss just sent this email to me ...

Nicola please could you provide a plastic container, shaped like a plastic cup, choice of colour brown or white to be agreed after consultation with member of staff concerned. Tea bag to comply with international world treaty supply and to be preferably of a round perforated type that will express due amount of tea over a 2 minute period. A plastic stirrer of the white variety should be provided to carry out necessary stirring in a clockwise motion. Milk should be supplied from a plastic container, following checks with members of cleaning team to ensure risk assessment is carried out on freshness of milk in conjunction with local agricultural policy to prevent any ingress of mad cow disease through digestion of contaminated liquids. Sugar should be provided through a paper container with adequate risk being assessed to identify any possible hazards such as paper cuts.

Thanks Richard

He's asking for a slap ...