Today would have been my grandmother's birthday. This birthday I seem to miss her more than most, although she's in my thoughts every day. I can't seem to get over her dying somehow.
She was the one I would always turn to and tell her my troubles and she would listen until I was through and then say "Oh bugger them." And do you know what? She'd be right! She was the only person that could say that to me and it would make my problems go away instantly. She was amazing.
She was one of those characters that you'd instantly love. She was warm, caring and loving, she didn't have a nasty bone in her body. And she would forgive you anything and in an instant if you ever crossed her. There's not many people that had a quality like that.
I miss her so much, my heart aches to have her back again. I don't think there's one person who knows just how much I ache for her. She idolised me and I worshipped her.
After last week's fiasco, I would have turned to her and poured my heart out and told her just how much I was hurting and she would have made it better, but to keep it all inside me like this is tearing me up inside. Gary tells me to forget it and move on, but I can't. Alana is walking around, feeling great and I'm hurt. She took my baby away to have her hair done and I didn't know where the hell she was, Bec said she was somewhere in Blaenymaes in a room full of strangers - that's what's tearing me up. Alana didn't give a rats ass. She didn't have the decency to let me know that she wouldn't be with her because she knew that I'd be there and wouldn't leave until she was ready. She didn't want me cluttering up the place. Neither did she apologise for it either. My grandmother would have "pulled her tripe out" if she'd have been around.
Well I hope she has the honeymoon from hell ....
Nana - I miss you.