15 August, 2006


Gary wound me up last night. I was eating an ice cream - I have one a week when the groceries come. He asked if I'd had mine (I buy three Ben and Jerry's 'wiches, one each) and I said that I had so he sarcastically asked if he was allowed to have one, referring to what Flint said. You can please yourself I snapped back. Eat what you want. OOO, that was it, we both blew up. He didn't like the fact that Flint had spoken to me about him, I didn't like the fact that he took his flipping mobile phone into the gym with him and cut our session short (he's always banging on about "together time", yeah, rrrrrrrrrrright, so he had that chucked in his chops too).

Anyway, one thing led to another and things were said, I was still smarting about next weekend as well as he's helping Paul to move wood to his new house, which is fine in itself, but don't tell me that he's committed to spending time with me at the gym when he's not, but anyway, as usual I felt like we hadn't really achieved anything, just went over the usual ground. I said that if he didn't want to go over the weekend, then perhaps we can go on Friday night instead of Saturday (Bec and me will still go on Saturday, no doubt about that) and he sort of just shrugged it off.

We'll see what he's like tonight as I'm going to the gym like I always do. If he wants to tag along, then fine, if not, then it's no biggie for me anymore. He's losing out, not me as he's committed to a year's membership so he'll still have to pay whether he goes or not. Well, it's up to him now, he can please himself. I'm not bothering about him anymore, let him sort himself out. I'm sick of trying to help him and having it chucked back at me.

He put me through hell when I first started there. You'll never stick it, you can't stick at anything, Weight Watchers, Tai Chi etc. you've done them all. Well, I couldn't go to Tai Chi because he was always working overtime and his father was dying at the time. I couldn't get there regular enough to learn the form (because of the overtime, not his father's condition).

I told him that I was totally miserable, I couldn't talk to him without getting patronised or my head bitten off, so I just do my own thing and live with the consquences, i.e. getting laughed at, told that won't stick it etc, no wonder I comfort eat, sigh ...

I told him that he totally burst my bubble when Paul rang him on Sunday. For the first time since I'd joined there, I felt relaxed, not worried about him sitting in the house on his own or doing something else on his own because I was at the gym, and yet he still couldn't shut himself off from the outside world and just spend time with me and me alone. He said that he was waiting for this phone call and that's why he took the phone in with him. I'm sure that he could have phoned Paul back when he'd finished his session, it wouldn't have been a problem surely? He was only giving him a hand to move his mother's things. Together time, my Aunt Fanny ... we had to put a rush on the rest of the workout because he told Paul he'd be over in half an hour, sigh ...

The reason I'm putting this in my blog is that hopefully things will change so dramatically, I'll be able to look back at this entry in a few months and see a turning point.


Sam said...

{{{Nicola}}} I'm hoping you will look back & find this was a turning point too. Keep your chin up & go for it!

Michelle said...

Awwwww Nichola what a nightmare. I hope things do get better and just go for what YOU want.